Saturday, August 14, 2010

Special Type of Girl

Most of us know, it takes a special type of girl to be the girlfriend of a Marine (or wife for that matter).

But most of us also know that it is impossible to never break down crying on the floor.
So does that mean we aren't strong?

Sometimes I think girls get a twisted view of what it means to support him.
Being strong doesn't just mean smiling when you're hurting.
Or lying to him and saying everything's fine when it's not. Think about it. If anything, that's the opposite of support.
He knows your lying so you say it because you know he'll ask again. But why even try then?
In a relationship it's equal parts. And although he's away saving our butts, it doesn't mean you don't need support from him too. So you shouldn't even start those childish lies. I've learned that.

Supporting him doesn't mean you can't be sad when you see that couple holding hands.
Should you try to hold your chin up and carry on? Of course.
But you DO NOT beat yourself up about it. I'm learning that.

I've spent a lot of time recently, asking myself if I'm that special type of girl a Marine needs.
And I've learned that you just have to learn how to be. You have to TRY.
That word is bigger than we make it out to be.
Before he left for bootcamp, I broke down and told him how I didn't think I could do it. I didn't think I was good enough to be a Marine's girlfriend. If I couldn't handle it myself, how could I support him too? But (as the amazing guy he is), he not only convinced me, but TAUGHT me: You have to try. When you've come this far, there's no reason to give up for "maybe's". "Maybe I'm not good enough", "Maybe we'll get hurt", "Maybe we won't work out".
Maybe's don't determine your life for you.

So then we were strong. We knew we had to try. And now that I'm alone it's hard. It's true, he isn't always here for me. And he won't be; he's busy! But he is when he can be. And so am I!

It's not if I'm that type of girl. It's that I am. Because I'm learning. Because I'm taking Every Day, one at a time. I'm TRYING. And yes, it does take the energy out of me.

But I love him. What wouldn't I give for him?

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