Wednesday, June 30, 2010


He called that night :) I don't know where he found the phone but he called. He said they were in South Carolina safely, stopped for a few minutes, and said he couldn't talk much. He started with "Guess who?" and it ended in "I love you". The best :36 second phone call I've ever gotten, and after it ended my heart lit up. And I found a few tears, but couldn't have felt more loved.

It's only been a day since I've seen him, and I'm already seeing how I took my cell phone for granted.
I can't tell him when someone makes me mad. Or when something funny has happened. Or when something serious has come up.
He's too busy for it anyways.

"He's getting a new life right now, leave a message in a week or two."

Monday, June 28, 2010


That was the hardest, and most rewarding thing I've ever had to do.
I refused to cry in-front of him. And I couldn't stop from smiling.

He's on a bus, on his way to Parris Island this very moment. Maybe he's already asleep. He'll be there at about 0100 tomorrow.
I won't get his address for at least a week.

And now he's off to his dream.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

2 and 1

There are no words to describe how much I miss him already, and I get to see him one last time tomorrow.

Friday I spent the evening with him. Mostly helping him clean his room out. He's trying to gather up his stuff and throw away what he doesn't want so his family can make his room into a guest bedroom. I found it so much fun :) Seeing things from his past, learning about him as a child up to where he is now. Such an amazing change.
I got to stay with is family that night.

Saturday we continued the cleaning but mostly set up for his graduation/going away party.
I got him a frame and had his friends sign the border to place his senior photo inside. I think he liked it ;)
I convinced my mom to let me stay over again :) I was taking every moment I could have

Sunday we went to church, out to lunch with his parents, and then finished up some things with his room and preparing him to leave. They're were some tears among friends and family.
His parents prayed with us, for Zack and even for me.
Then we took him to the recruiting office to drop him off and talk with the Staff. Sgt. and say goodbye. Tonight he'll sleep at the hotel and prepare to swear in once more tomorrow.

And I'll get to be there, hopefully to see him swear in. To say last goodbyes, hugs, and maybe a kiss or two ;)
I can honestly say it will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Maybe that makes me a wimp,  or weak, but it's the truth.
It's hard being the girlfriend. Spending time wondering what the last thing you'll say to him will be.
"I love you." I think that has got to top them all.
But I'd also like to tell him to think of me, to always remember to breathealways pray, and that I'll see him soon.

I doubt I'll be avoiding tears this time.


And so the number is 1, it's almost done. He's on his way to his dream.

Thursday, June 24, 2010


     I'll hopefully be spending the next three days with him, and you don't know how that makes me smile :)
I just keep telling myself: It's not like deployment. It's only 13 weeks. And they won't kill him.
You'd think I have nothing to be afraid of.
     I'm very committed to him, proud and excited for him, and I'm a little afraid.
Afraid to no longer have my best friend to get me through every day.
     I'll have to be stronger now. I'll have to grow up. I'll have to hear him in my mind and heart, telling me I can do it, and that theres nothing to be afraid of.

I miss him the day after I see him. So my summer will consist of imagining he's actually here.
I guess you do always have imaginary friends ;) But this time he's real.

3 days left. I can't believe I'm saying this.

5 but I should call this 4

I feel so undeserving of him and sometimes I feel like I'm a punishment to him. But for some odd reason, he loves me. And I love him. And I refuse to let that go.

I just want to smile. To remember that its not the downside of 13 weeks, it's the upside of always saying "I'll see you soon", because the truth is, no matter where they are, you'll always see them soon.

I've decided to end the "I'm fine"s. When someone you love asks you whats wrong and you say "I'm fine". That's lying, and I can't lie to him, its just not fair to lie to someone you love. I feel closer to him this way, we practically tell each other everything, so what's the point in hiding it when you both want to know anyways? You want to tell them and they want to hear. They love to hear it. They love to comfort you.
I love to comfort him. I hate hurting him.

So now its 5. 4 days left.
I think it's just not hitting me yet.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


My school "ends" tomorrow (i'm homeschooled), however I'll have to finish up some subjects during the summer, just lightly I hope. Maybe that'll keep me busy while he's gone.

From what I've been reading you have to keep yourself busy. That's the number one thing. Hopefully that'll be easy since I've never been bored except for car rides and in waiting rooms. And even then... However when I am bored I'm bored so bad I could cry, and with all the tears this Summer will hold, I can guarantee you I'll do my best to keep busy.

And so the days were 6.

P.s: I created this for you photo lovers:

Monday, June 21, 2010

8. 7.

I saw him at Church Sunday, but it didn't last long.
It's so hard to let go when you know the moments are almost gone.
And now I sound like a broken record.

Fathers day was good and I think my daddy liked it.
However it made me think a little bit about my own future. Sometimes I wish I knew how it was to work out, but I realize that if I knew this I'd mess it all up.

And now I'm  down to a week.
7 days short or 7 days long?

Friday, June 18, 2010


Some people say they think about their love a thousand times a day.
I only think about you once, and it lasts all day.

It brings me to tears thinking about how this will be his last week here and I'll hardly get to spend time with him.
It brings me to tears thinking about how I won't be able to just text him when something is killing me.
It brings me to tears knowing that I'll have to be strong now. I have to remember he's always here with me.


We spent the day together today with our two friends.
We went swimming and bowling which was a lot of fun. All day I just felt summer, and smiles, and his hand.
It's hard to imagine that I'll lose all those chances with him this summer. One year isn't so much when you get to the end of it. Then you realize all the times you should've said yes to things you thought were silly or meaningless.
If it involves someone you love, please hear me: It is NEVER meaningless.
And when you truly love them, you won't get bored. So don't ever say it might be boring. Take the chance when you get it. Take it.

9 days left. 

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Countdown - 10

I have a man that is 18 years of age and he is about to fulfill his dream. In ten days.

I am so proud of him, however there is already pain of knowing my best friend is about to leave me for 3 months.
I'm scared, while he's not allowed to be.
He's gonna be a Marine. Infantry of all he could've chosen.
He'll be one of the fewer and prouder people in our country. He'll fight for us every day. He'll have red white and blue blood running through his veins.

He leaves 6-27-10. We hit one year the day before. He will graduate 9-24-10.
I'll be waiting.

I'll be spending the day with him and our friends tomorrow :) But when we have to say goodnight, I know it'll be just one more day to count down to.