I feel so undeserving of him and sometimes I feel like I'm a punishment to him. But for some odd reason, he loves me. And I love him. And I refuse to let that go.
I just want to smile. To remember that its not the downside of 13 weeks, it's the upside of always saying "I'll see you soon", because the truth is, no matter where they are, you'll always see them soon.
I've decided to end the "I'm fine"s. When someone you love asks you whats wrong and you say "I'm fine". That's lying, and I can't lie to him, its just not fair to lie to someone you love. I feel closer to him this way, we practically tell each other everything, so what's the point in hiding it when you both want to know anyways? You want to tell them and they want to hear. They love to hear it. They love to comfort you.
I love to comfort him. I hate hurting him.
So now its 5. 4 days left.
I think it's just not hitting me yet.